My Internet Personal Ad

Women, I realize it is hard to find a good guy in this society we live in. However, I think that once you get to know me and my character traits, you will be unable to resist me. I am the total package and instead of paying eHarmony to find me a mate (does Brad Pitt need an internet site to help him get some?) I'll just list my incredible qualities here.

Reasons to date Justin:

-I don't eat much: I never really get hungry. So if you say you are going to cook and somehow burn the living hell out of it, I'll be ok. I won't be disappointed that I will not be getting dinner. I mean, you'll probably have to get something for yourself but you need not worry about keeping me fed. Also, I'll never cook for you, so you can eat all the fast food you want. Just don't get fat.

-I don't need my laundry done too much: I do laundry about once every month, if that. Now don't get too freaked out. I own a lot of underwear and socks and I change clothes every couple hours so they never get too dirty. This way I am able to wear them in shifts and avoid getting them dirty. Not that I expect a woman to do laundry but if you are one that feels an obligation to keep her man's clothes clean, no need to fret, my pet. My clothes never get dirty.

-I require little attention, if any: Think you have to reassure me that "I'm the one" or that "You love me" ? Hell no, I don't need that from a girl. Hell, half the time I may even forget that you exist. Don't let this get you down, just take it as me being low maintenance. Do you really want a guy that never leaves you alone and constantly is giving you compliments and buying you sweet gifts? Of course, not. Plus, if you forget my birthday or an anniversary, I won't care. Why? Because I have no idea when either one is.

I have a large DVD collection: I have all kinds of movies that we can sit and watch together (don't get too close)! From "Death to Smoochy" to "Star Wars," I've got enough movies to ensure that I never have to take you out in public. And even if a movie may come out that I want to see, I'll just download a bootleg on the internet. NOTE: I am a little sick of chicks dating me for only my dvds and not me...

I have no job: So, as I previously stated, I'm not gonna bother you with compliments and shit but this is still a good thing. I have all the time in the world to sit around and get at video games so you can tell all of your friends how godly I am at them. Also, if there is a movie you want to see but don't have time, I'll watch it for you and just tell you about it. What else am I going to do? Plus, you'll never have to worry about where I am because I'll always be sitting on my couch. I think it is important to have that kind of trust.

So, if this isn't enough to make you want me, I really don't know what your problem is. I have not lied about my attributes to make you think I am better than I am. I know it may be hard to believe that a guy can have all of these things, but I promise I do. If you wanna hook up, let me know. I'll even let you drive and pay on the first date. I'm always thinking of others.